Dear Cohort 4

I’ve made a clean break. I’m engaging with mental health and substance abuse workers. When I called you I was at rock bottom. I needed you and you were there. As always. Absolutely right.

I owe you my life. He could of killed me.

And it’s been a prolonged break with zero contact and I promise I won’t go back on it. I’m looking for a house move as well.  Just thank you from the bottom of my heart. I cannot tell you the amount of fear I lived in.  My eyes pricked typing that out. A few little flashbacks. I’m in no rush to find anyone unless they are the right match. My boy comes before anyone and the guilt I hold for not putting him first and overlooking his needs emotionally, are the only thing that keeps me from going back. I could never put him through what I did.

My posts at the moment are battling all the things he took from me, but he took my truth. He is extremely manipulative, so the only way to combat that and fix myself, is to show I am doing ok and I’m doing it with conviction.

You’ve been a pillar for me for many years, and eventually I will go into a support role for women who have been through the same. I just need to rebuild first.  

My boy is the only thing that has kept me going in my darkest moments.

I promise you, when I’m ready I will come over. I want to, however I think I would just break down in tears. I’m learning how to be loved again and it’s harder than I thought.

I just need to heal.

I feel like I’ve re-found my power of dreaming and setting goals.  Education is where I want to go back to. I just don’t know how yet.

I just wanted to let you know we are safe and making all the right choices.

Thank you.

A Cohort 4 Woman xxx